What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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