i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
