I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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