dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
