I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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