A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So much Jack, so little girl.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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