ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
