Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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