i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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