Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
