I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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