I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
