90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
