So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
