if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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