WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
