yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize