hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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