somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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