I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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