Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
