so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize