ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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