I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i love accidental penises.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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