so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
