I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
