1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
