Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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