he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
oh god was she eating orange peels again
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
