If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Green mimosas i think yes
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
