the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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