just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
