Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
