when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize