My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
