I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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