ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
