xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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