hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
