all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
