I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
