He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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