Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize