sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
