Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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