im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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