So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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