her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
