I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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