Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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