i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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