were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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