when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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