he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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