dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize