there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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