It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm like, not good at living.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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