it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
bring money and cleavage
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
