I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
