Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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