Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
