i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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