I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
These tits shall not be calmed
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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