I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
