It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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