This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
