last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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