Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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